life lessons book


We all have a book inside us. We may even have several! If you want to write a book based on your life, are you clear on the type of book you would like to write? I have seven options for you—six nonfiction and one fiction—that might fit well with your plan to write a book.

I like to say a book is a credibility card that solidifies your brand and message. Should you write a memoir, focusing on your personal story?  Would it make more sense to write a book about what you have learned, one that features pieces of your story and a short summary of it at the beginning of the book?

Many of my clients have struggled with the question of what type of book to write to most effectively communicate their ideas and establish their brand and get their message out there. Some of my clients have pivoted with their brand, and a book has been instrumental in helping them do that. For example, one wanted to move from a more straightforward health brand to one that was more lifestyle oriented.

Other clients of mine have wanted to write their story as a book so they can inspire others but soon came to see that a memoir needs to be about a specific theme in their life that ties into their central message.

My video, How to Write a Book Based on Your Life, goes into some detail about the seven different types of books you might write. They are:

An autobiography or personal history. This type of personal project lets you tell your story to future generations. How I wish that my great-grandmother had written such a book so I could know more about how she went from having just a six-grade education to running a family business! Your great-grandchildren would surely appreciate a professionally written book telling your life story.

A memoir. Memoirs are thematic and often focus on just one aspect of a person’s life. Some authors write more than one memoir. Common themes including coming of age and the hero’s journey. Memoirs have a wider audience than an autobiography or personal history.

A life lessons book. Like a memoir, a life lessons book is thematic, but the themes are summed up with compelling statements. I love the title of the book by Starbucks founder Howard Behar, written with Janet Goldstein: It’s Not About the CoffeeWhat a great title that summarizes the book’s central message! All of his chapter titles are statements and lessons that we can learn from.

A business book. A business book can be part memoir, part life-lessons book. The key is to know your best stories and match them up with key ideas you want to put across (for example, that the Starbucks brand is NOT about the coffee!)

A self-help book. I specialize in helping people write this type of book. You may have seen my video on how to structure a self-help book. In it, I offer a structure that I have seen work time and time again. The book should take readers on a journey from here to there so that by the end of the book, they feel their life has changed and they know how to apply your ideas to their own life to make it better. There are two key elements in self-help books: the takeaway and the action plan. (You do not necessarily need an action plan, but you definitely need takeaway, as I explain in my video on How to Write a Book Based on Your Life.)

A parenting book. I cowrote an evergreen parenting book that continues to sell year after year (hence “evergreen”). In fact, it has sold over 130,000 copies. Now, I am not the expert of all time on parenting (my son would agree with me on that!). However, I did interviews and research, synthesized ideas, drew on my own experiences as a child and as a parent, and put it all together with the help of my coauthor, my son’s occupational therapist who treated him. We came up with a parenting book filled with tips and strategies I knew parents needed. I turned myself into an expert in the process. (Two book award committees and dozens of reviewers and endorsers apparently agree, because Raising a Sensory Smart Child has gotten a phenomenal response from those folks.) My coauthor, Lindsey Biel, OTR/L, provided the therapist’s perspective, which broadened the appeal of the book. You might want to consider a coauthor or at least a foreword from someone who has professional credentials who can vouch for the credibility of your parenting advice.

A novel. You can “fictionalize” your life and start writing a novel. Know whether you are going to make it a mystery, a romance, commercial women’s fiction (such as a novel about a mother and daughter who experience conflict they have to resolve), or a work of literary fiction. Know the conventions of these types of books so that you are clear on what you are writing. If you are going to write commercial women’s fiction, read some novels in that category. There’s an old saying: To be a good writer, you have to be a good reader. Did you know that bestselling novelist Jeffrey Archer said he read 100 novels before starting his own? That might have been more than he needed to read, but it goes to show you really do have to familiarize yourself with the type of book you want to write.

I also talk in my video How to Write a Book Based on Your Life about using sensory detail and storytelling so that you “show, don’t tell”—another old saying in the book biz. When you write, put us in the middle of the action and the moment of the scene, even if you are just writing an anecdote in a business book so you emotionally engage us. You don’t have to go on for pages giving us exhaustive detail about a client you worked with, but give us a sense of what it was like to be in the situation that went from uncomfortable to a sense of possibility for change. Show us how you overcame your bad habit of saying “yes, of course” and instead saying, “I’ll need to get more details before I commit to doing that.” Even a nonfiction book has a narrative arc. Perhaps you will show us how you went from hating your body to feeling grateful for the healthy body you inhabit, from weighing yourself obsessively to telling your scale, “Kiss my butt, buddy,” and weighing yourself once a year, not obsessing about the number. You started at a low place and achieved success in some area of your life. People want to see how you did that, and your book can do the job of conveying your story.

Need help conceptualizing your book? Stuck on the title and overarching theme? Not sure if you should go with life lessons around your parenting successes or with a funny memoir? I can help. Give me some details about where you are in your process. Think about where you see yourself going with this book (doing podcasts and public speaking? being on local TV and radio talk shows? having a blog and newsletter along with a popular Instagram account?). And let me know if you’re ready for a one-hour consultation call and perhaps some coaching as you start your writing process. Contact me at info@nancypeske.com and let’s get you firmly on the road to writing and publishing your book.

 

how to write a book 7 ways

How to write a book based on your story or work: I can help you figure out what type of book you want to write.

 

Often, aspiring memoir writers ask me how to get started. Do they just hire a ghostwriter and pay for phone time to start telling their stories and getting them into documents? That’s one way to begin, but it is not the only way. I think it’s important to start the writing yourself so you can begin seeing the themes and lessons that you will want to emphasize in your memoir or book of life lessons. Let me offer some writing prompts for you memoir writers who are trying to figure out how to tell your life story.

 

Writing Prompt #1: Write the inspirational story of the moment in your life when you felt the most empowered. Use sensory detail—words that evoke sounds, sensations, visual images, and so on. What did it feel like to be in your body that moment when you spoke your truth? When you walked away from a bad situation? When you felt completely at one with the universe? When you knew you were okay, for the first time in a very long time? When you knew you had achieved success? (This story may end up being at the very beginning of the book.)

 

Writing Prompt #2: Write a story of being a young child playing. What toy were you playing with, and why did you enjoy playing with it? Use sensory detail. What did it feel like to lie on the rug in your family’s living room, or sit on the linoleum in your family’s kitchen, as you played? What were you imagining? What were you feeling? (This exercise can be very effective for drawing out of your unconscious mind a story that tells us something about who you are as an adult, what you value, and what the themes of your story are.)

 

Writing Prompt #3: Tell a funny story that captures your sense of humor. It could be a recent story or an old one from your childhood. Make sure that this story reveals your vulnerability, so that the reader relates to you person to person instead of just seeing you as an expert or leader.

 

After writing these stories, read them aloud. Make any changes to the writing you feel are necessary. Edit these stories as best you can, checking spelling and grammar.

 

Begin to think about what these stories have in common. What are your strengths, weaknesses, and interests as revealed in these stories? What, if anything, do your stories say to a reader about how you overcame challenges? What do they tell people about your personality?

 

All memoirs need a narrative arc. We need to see progress in the story as it takes us from the beginning, through the middle, and to the end. We need to watch you come of age, learn to run a successful business despite humble beginnings and mistakes along the way, grow into a person who has come to peace with your past and developed wisdom and a sense of clarity and purpose, and so on. Think about how you would sum up your memoir in a sentence. How would you describe it using two paragraphs that might be found on the back of the book or on the Amazon page for the book? Look at other books for examples.

 

Once you done some of the writing and started to get a sense of what the central story of your memoir is, think about whether you want to write a memoir, a life lessons book, or a self-help book with takeaway exercises and perhaps even an action plan for developing new habits. Do you want to write a personal history for yourself, your family, and your close friends, and perhaps mine it for stories to use in another book, such as a book related to your business as a speaker and consultant, or in a memoir about one specific time in your life?

 

Whether your plan is to publish the book for yourself and your family and friends, for a larger audience that includes fans of your work as an expert in your field, begin your writing today with these writing prompts for memoir writers. Even if you end up doing a life lessons book or a self-help book, you will be glad you wrote up these stories. Doing so will help you get a better sense of how to integrate your personal anecdotes into the book you want to write. A professional developmental editor or ghostwriter can better help you if you have put some time into writing some stories and putting some thought to the central story of your memoir. You will have an easier time conveying your vision of your memoir once you have written some of the stories, so be sure to get started with these memoir writing prompts!

 

(Do you want to know more about the difference between a developmental editor and a ghostwriter? A ghostwriter actually writes drafts of chapters. A developmental editor works with written material such as rough drafts of manuscripts or chapters. You can learn more about developmental editing by watching my video on cut-and-paste editing, available on YouTube.)

 

 

memoir writing life story life lessons

Writing prompts can help you get started with your memoir or other book that features your story.

 

 

Writing a memoir or nonfiction book but afraid you’re not a “real” writer with a broad enough vocabulary and an ability to create elegant metaphors? Banish that fear. I can offer you three ways to energize your writing to bring it up to the next level so that your book is compelling and your ideas and anecdotes come alive for your readers.

1. Pick strong verbs.

Avoid variations on the verb “to be” where you can because “to be” and its forms are weak, wimpy verbs. Also, turn nouns into strong verbs that make your writing and storytelling more energetic and compelling.

 

Weak: Summer is my favorite season.

“Is” is a form of the verb “to be.”

Strong: I favor summer over all the other seasons.

“Favor” is a strong verb compared to “is.”

 

Weak: My partner made an assumption that I was not ready for change.

“Was” is weak.

Strong: My partner assumed that change would overwhelm me.

“Assumed” is stronger than “made an assumption” and it’s less wordy. “Was” is weak. Also, when you begin choosing verbs that could go into that clause, you start getting more precise with your words, which gives your writing more oomph. Here, turning the noun “assumption” into a strong verb helps tighten the writing, making it more energetic.

2. Use a thesaurus to find variations on words.

Look for the overuse of certain words in your writing. Did you use “creative” in the first sentence of a paragraph, “creativity” in the second sentence, and “create” in another paragraph on the same page? Even if your book is on creativity, you want to use a variety of words to get across the concept of creativity. A thesaurus can lead you to words such as innovative, resourceful, imaginative, originality, inventive, and more. Bonus tip: If it’s hard to find a synonym you haven’t already used, maybe you need to tighten the writing so it’s less repetitive.

3. Use figurative language and wordplay.

If you keep using the same words over and over, you’re in the company of the great writer J.K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter series, who said she became frustrated trying to find new ways of saying “corridor” or “hall” when describing the movement of characters. When it seems there’s no way to avoid overusing a word that’s key to your story, work, and message, consider using figurative language and wordplay.

Weak: I created my 40-day program for people who think they’re not creative to help them develop their creativity.

We get it! But using variations on “to create” over and over will bore your reader.

Strong: I developed my 40-day program for people who think they’re not “the creative type” to help them discover their inner playground child, the self that sees the world as a playground filled with possibilities for doing something different and innovative.

Here, the writer actually is using figurative language to energize her writing and help brand herself at the same time. As a developmental editor or ghostwriter who also does book publishing consultations, I would say, “Terrific! Now Google ‘inner playground child’ to see if anyone else is using it, and consider buying the dot com URL (www.PlaygroundChild.com) to reserve it—and setting up an Inner Playground Child professional page on Facebook to help secure your brand and a clever turn-of-phrase to go with it.” Branding is key for setting your book and your work apart from others’ in the marketplace, so I would help steer you toward words, phrases, and clauses that would be unique to you.

 

Need help with writing, strategizing, branding, and envisioning your nonfiction mind/body/spirit book? Contact me today and let me know where you are with your plan for your book and what kind of help you need. (Perhaps a Vision Plan is your next step?)

 

 

energize your writing book power

 

 

 

Why should someone hire you as a coach or consultant, subscribe to your blog or newsletter, come to see you speak, or hire you as a speaker? Because, of course, you are awesome, original, and a unique expression of divine light in human form. Okay, but besides that, why should someone pay you attention or money, or give you opportunities, when there are a gazillion people who do something similar? Because truly, you are unique—and that allows you to create a brand for yourself that is different from every other brand. Branding yourself with a book is an excellent way to expertise yourself and convey to potential clients, followers, and fans who you are and what your message and work is all about. Maybe you will give away your book, maybe you will sell it, and maybe you’ll do a combination of both. Whatever you choose, figure out your brand and brand yourself with a book that serves as your credibility card.

 

For branding purposes, you don’t have to write a full-length book of 50,000 to 80,000 words (or longer—self-help books years ago were typically 100,000 words but the average length has shrunk considerably). You don’t have to get a book deal, although you might want to work with a book publisher or a book publishing coach or service to handle the technical issues involved with turning your document into an actual physical book and eBook (electronic book). Focus on the editorial questions “What is my book about, how does it help the reader, who is my reader, and how will my book help establish my credibility as an expert?” for that’s at the heart of writing a book will solidify your brand. You can give the book away or sell it when you do personal appearances and have interviewers hold it up to the camera when you do local (or national) television shows or Skype interviews that get shared on social media. A snappy title for a book will help people remember you and do an Internet search to find you. Books help you build your platform for your work (consulting, teaching, etc.) just as your work helps you build your author platform. Your work supports your book and your book supports your work.

 

To start conceptualizing a book that fits into your brand, take your personal story of how you became interested in the work you do. After all, that is the very foundation of your brand and what sets you apart from others who do similar work. You have to be present in your brand, and your followers will want to know about you and your life. I give parenting advice and my brand is the Sensory Smart Parent, which derives from my coauthored book Raising a Sensory Smart Child. My expertise is in raising a child with sensory processing disorder who has “sensory smarts”: that is, he understands his sensory processing differences and can meet his sensory needs and self-advocate in a socially acceptable away. You, too, will want to be able to sum up your brand in a few words that capture what kind of parent, teacher, entrepreneur, healer, or speaker you are that sets you apart. You’ll want to be able to quickly describe your expertise. My other brand is Cinematherapy, which is the title of a book I coauthored with my cousin Bev West. Like so many women, we find that movies are more than just entertainment, they’re self-medication that can cure anything from a bad hair day to the dumped-and-out-for-blood blues. (That’s a carefully crafted pitch we used everywhere in promotion.) Bev and I learned the art of Cinematherapy from our mothers and mutual grandmother who made time to watch movies as part of self-care, which for them meant letting themselves feel their emotions fully. Notice that we’re not film experts or therapists, yet we have an identifiable brand we can describe briefly and that is captured in the book’s title. Our story gives our spin on talking about movies a personal touch. And now you know the story behind the brand!

 

So let’s start with your story of how you came to have the idea for your work, whether it’s paid work or volunteer work, volunteering or coaching, healing or teaching, or whatever it is.

 

Know how to pitch your story. Everyone has a life about which a story can be told, says my client Carl Greer, PhD, PsyD, a Jungian analyst, clinical psychologist, shamanic practitioner, and author of Change Your Story, Change Your Life. But if you had to summarize your story of how you developed your message or came to do the work you do, what is your story? Take a look at short author biographies on the back of books you admire that are in your genre (for example, inspirational self-help or memoirs centered around life lessons the author learned). Take a look at what authors write in the introduction of their books. They don’t go on for many pages, but they do succinctly tie in what happened to them with how they became interested in their topic and developed expertise.

 

branding book author self-help life lessons

A book can serve as a credibility card. Figure out your brand based on your story and start thinking about a book tied into your brand.

Know what is universal about your story. Your personal story is absolutely key to your brand. Your unique perspective is shared by no one else, yet what you do can’t be so very personal that people who hear about you have no idea what you have to offer that they can use. They have to make a connection and say “I can relate to that person’s story! He seems like someone who would understand my situation and could help me.” Your message has to be clear, and people have to know what they are getting from you that will help them with their problems and challenges. Your services may be nutritional coaching, helping mothers of babies to find time for self-care, or training professionals to be better at creating YouTube videos that help sell their products and services. Those are common services with universal appeal. A story such as “I came to be a nutritionist because I grew up eating poorly and after becoming very sick, I taught myself about nutrition” is universal. That’s a good start to branding yourself because it’s rooted in your story, but you need to go further, so read on.

Know what is compelling about your story. Perhaps there is a startling, dramatic detail to your story, such as that you nearly forgot your baby in your car because you didn’t take time for self-care and that woke you up to the urgency of this common, universal problem of new mothers not taking care of themselves. Perhaps your own YouTube videos got such devastating bad reviews saying that you seemed stiff and authentic that you vowed to learn how to overcome your stilted performances and now you teach and coach others into creating awesome videos that sell their products and services. Think about emotional extremes–what would make someone go, “Wow, that’s devastating/hilarious/amazing!” when hearing your story. Strong emotions strengthen brands, so find the emotionally compelling aspects of your story.

Find what is different in your approach or voice. Maybe your business model is different from others’ because your approach is different: You coach people with check-ins every week, or you send them daily reminders through mobile devices to keep them on track. Maybe your gentle, warm, kind approach sets you apart from others who coach people who are used to a “boot camp” approach. Ask your clients, fans, followers, and friends what they find different about your approach if you aren’t quite sure what makes you different. And really ponder what’s different in your approach or voice. Close your eyes, meditate for a moment, and pose the question, “What makes my approach unique?” See if an insight doesn’t appear.

What makes you different is key to your brand and to branding yourself with a book. Now I hope you are closer to figuring out your brand and a book that will establish that brand.

Questions? Comments? As always, I’m here to help you!

 

 

Thinking of writing a memoir? Are there stories from your life that led you to learn important lessons you want to share with others? Maybe you are eager to write a self-help book or a book of lessons about life drawn from your own experiences, but you don’t know where to start. I have worked with many authors on weaving their personal stories into memoirs or self-help books. A ghostwriter or developmental editor can really help you to focus in on your best stories and turn them into a legacy memoir.

Let me share some ideas on how you can begin to turn your story into a book.

Start with the most important stories. Choose to tell the stories you feel are the most important. If you could only tell three stories of your life, what would they be? If you tell stories to illustrate points to people you wish to persuade, teach, or entertain as part of your work (paid or volunteer), what are the top three anecdotes you like to use? Begin there. Get your top, key stories onto the page.

Tell your story in your voice. Your voice in the final draft of your book won’t be the same as the voice you use when telling your story to someone else, or to a device that records you speaking. Try telling your stories on paper and telling them again by dictating them into software that transcribes your words. (Or, you can record yourself telling your stories and use a transcription service such as Transcription Hub to turn them into words.) Even if you end up working with a ghostwriter or developmental editor, that professional will want to hear your voice in her ear when she’s writing a sentence or shaping a paragraph for you.

Put the reader in the moment. There’s an old saying in book publishing: “Show, don’t tell.” There is a big difference between telling your reader “The birth of my son was uneventful, so I was not expecting to discover that he had a condition called sensory processing disorder” and showing her that “On a lovely spring day, after a two-and-a-half-hour induced, epidural-eased labor that was so painless and spiritually uplifting that I was practically communing with my ancestors on the astral plane, I got the thumbs-up from the doctor: I’d given birth to my first child, a healthy little boy. . . “ Don’t just record the dry facts. Use sensory details about sounds, sights, smells, and feelings to describe time and place. Use words that convey emotion. Be sentimental as you hone in on a detail such as your grandmother’s hands kneading dough or the smell of that vinyl playhouse for your dolls that filled the air as you ripped away the wrapping paper on your birthday gift that year you turned seven. Use humor as you tell about the first time you tried to seem professional to a new client and goofed up big time.

Don’t worry about the writing for now. Great storytellers don’t necessarily use fancy language—Ernest Hemingway is proof of that. Your inner critic can be quite a nuisance, so when you first record your stories, tell him to take a hike because you are busy!

Be emotionally honest about your experience. Emotional experiences connect us as fellow humans sharing the planet. If someone relates an emotional experience we have never had, we are naturally curious. We want to experience it through reading or listening to someone else’s story so that we feel a connection. Don’t tell us “My father walked out on our family when I was ten years old and I never saw him again.” Paint the scene. What do you remember? How did you react? Did you bury your head in a pillow and cry, go outside and run through the woods, play a sad record and sing along? When you first began to pursue your passion as a career or a calling, were you overwhelmed to realize you had taken on a project that was far bigger than you felt you could handle? Let yourself be vulnerable. It’s what makes you human and what will draw people to your story.

Remember, YOU are the storyteller. You don’t have to tell the story the way anyone else would tell it. This is your story, and your truth matters. If you remember that when you were a child, you told your mother you wanted to be a dancer when you grew up and her response was curt and dismissive, that story is true for you. Later, you can get her side of the story, or talk to others who were there, but start with the story that is true to what you remember.

Focus on the emotions not the lessons. Lessons are important, but being emotionally honest on the page even more so. Many people wish to write a memoir about their lives or a section or aspect of their life so that they can share with others not only their story but the lessons they learned along the way. Because it feels safer emotionally to write about ideas and what you learned than to be vulnerable in telling the story, you can end up telling the reader what happened instead of showing them. The emotional distance between you and your story that you merely “tell” becomes emotional distance between your reader and you. Bring people into your experiences, express emotion when storytelling, and readers will care much more deeply about the lessons and insights you wish to share. You need to be present in any book of advice to others, and readers need to see you as strong and wise but vulnerable too so you’re relatable.

Let a photograph inspire you. If you’re stuck on how to write a story, pull out a photograph—perhaps from a time in your life when you had yet to learn an important lesson, or from a time when you were new to your work or an experience you want to write about (parenting, teaching, cooking, whatever it is.) Let the photo bring you back to that time and place. Share the story of the day that photo was taken and the moment the camera captured. Pay attention to what you were wearing, your body language, your facial expression, what’s in the background, anyone or anything else in the photo with you—and what was missing. Remember who you were at that instant in time. What did you know? What had you yet to learn?

 

turn your story into a book ghostwriter

Are you ready to turn your story into a book?

 

Write at least one story of when you turned a page, having found courage and inspiration. If you want your story of suffering or struggle to inspire others, you must allow them to experience that powerful moment when it all changed and you found your voice, you walked out of a bad situation or you walked into the unknown open to the possibilities yet to be seen. You must let us feel that triumph so we are pulled into wanting to read more about what you’ve experienced and what you know.

Writing some of your stories can help you conceptualize the book you want to write and get a feel for whether you will be comfortable opening up emotionally and letting yourself be vulnerable to your readers. Get started with the writing. Get the stories down on the page.

When you have written several stories from your life, you can step back and observe how you feel about being truthful on the page and sharing moments that don’t necessarily put you in the best light, or sharing personal moments that make you feel exposed. Are you writing self-help or a book of life lessons? Then you can start to observe the threads that connect the stories, and you can begin to record the ideas they convey. My story of my son’s birth was meant to help readers understand my joy, hope, and excitement that would soon give way to confusion as I noticed he was not developing like the books and my friends and family said babies do. That story opened the introduction to my coauthored book Raising a Sensory Smart Child. Every story has to have a point, whether you are writing a memoir or a book of life lessons, so sit with your stories and ponder what someone else might learn from them or experience as a result of reading them. Maybe they will inspire your reader, or teach them, persuade them, or entertain them—or a combination of all of these.

Editing and shaping the stories you tell and how you tell them is important and will come next, but don’t get ahead of yourself if you are just beginning. Focus on getting those stories recorded and again, let that inner critic go on a long walk while you’re busy writing.

Have a few stories down? Ready to write your memoir or self-help or life-lessons book based on your experiences? Contact me to see how I can help you as a developmental editor, ghostwriter, coach, and consultant to get your book finished and ready to be produced and sold!